Good at Being Bad
by slothchild
Summary: Dark red eyes scanned across the letter attentively. What exactly was this?...A series of interesting events that all emerge from a helpself book. Jack, I'm here to help.Repair in progress


**Disclaimer:** Let me put this in terms that even _you_ can understand, **No.**

First none oneshot fic. Hooray for me... Oh, joy and rapture. This is basically revolving around all of the main characters, you know. The four dragons, Dojo, Jack. Yeah, that's basically all of them. So, Jack receives a book about becoming an Evil Overlord. He follows the book. Step by step. That's what the chapters will be based on. An instruction given in the book. Don't worry, this story will go somewhere.

Wish me luck.

"**I never lose…_I just choose not to win_"**

_**Good at Being Bad**_

_A Xiaolin Showdown FanFiction_

_:yay:_

**Chapter One**

**Book Bound**

Dark red eyes scanned across the letter attentively. What exactly was this?

_Jack Spicer,_

_Did I spell your name right? Hopefully yes. Along with this letter you will find yourself with a package entitled for you. Don't be alarmed, I didn't send you a bomb or a rabid Jack Russell Terrier. Marvelous breed by the way, but in any case, this is a present for a certain Evil Boy Genius who just can't seem to assert himself in the right direction. I've pitied your failure for countless times. My little present will help you I'm sure. And if it doesn't, tough luck._

_Just so you know, I'm doing this to help you because I consider both of us friendly aqquaintances if I do say so myself. That...and your humiliation across the Internet and the sardonic insults people have been making about you on is getting really annoying. You depress and I annoy me, Jack. And for that, I pity you._

_Glad to help,_

_Pointless Authority_

_P.S._

_Have you ever **thought about changing your Username**? I mean, **Jack Attack**...come on..._

It didn't look like this _Pointless_ guy was kidding. But it didn't look like this guy was being serious either. And...

_What was wrong with Jack Attack!_

"Sounds fine to me..." Jack Spicer, Evil Boy Genius answered himself. He glanced back down to the letter at hand, it was typewritten in red ink, a cherry blossom design faintly dominating the paper with a light scent of melon. He stared at a certain phrase.

**_My little present will help you I'm sure_**.

_Help me?_, Jack thought, _Who said I needed any help!_

_Don't be stupid. You need help like a fish needs water._

_Would you just once, please stay out of this!_

_Can't._

_Why not!_

_I'm you, genius._

Jack growled, he had just returned from another failed Shen Gong Wu hunt and found this package at his door. Only a few moments ago had he locked himself away in his trusty "lair" as he loved to call his basement. It wasn't glamorous, but it did say a lot. Like, _Hello. My name is Jack. I wanna rule the world but I'm failing miserably_. And that's only putting it lightly.

_Just open the package, you twit_.

The boy hissed at his other self, "Fine! Just shut up. I'm already evil, I don't wanna be crazy." He mumbled as he slowly unwrapped the brown Manila paper cradling the mystery gift.

And there it was.

_Good at Being Bad: The Top Things I'd Do To Become An Evil Overlord_

A book.

Not a death ray. Not a machine gun. Not even an inspirational Hallmark greeting card.

A _book_. A thick leather bound _book_.

_By Pointless Authority._

"Man, this dude needs a life." He pondered, still...**Evil Overlord**. It didn't exactly catch his interest yet, it made him smile. _Evil Overlord Jack_. Not what he was looking for but, not bad. _Has a nice ring to it_.

He felt the embossed silver letters with his thumb. It was a nice texture. It seemed like a nice book. From a seemingly nice person. So, what the heck? Might as well take a look...

Jack flipped it open to a page.

_Chapter one: And So It Begins..._

He read the short intro, skipping a few unwanted paragraphs until he caught sight of something that looked important...

**1) Before anything else, I would have to find out who my greatest nemesis is. My greatest threat. After all, a villain without a hero is like milk without cookies. It would just be wrong, am I right?**

Jack nodded dumbly, drifting off into deep thought. My greatest nemesis...someone strong, heroic...manly-

"Hah!" Kimiko taunted. She had dogded both Omi and Raimundo's attacks. Of course she had to gloat, these were one of the very few chances that she _could_ gloat.

"Eat that, boys! I'm Kimiko Tohomiko and I'm the-

"Queen of the Overdramatic!" Raimundo finished smugly, "Just get on with it!" His voice ordered in annoyance.

Omi snickered, "Good one, Raimundo! You are, how you say, _on fire_!"

"Good idea!" Kimiko spat with venom in her voice. And with that, she summoned her power, her fire.

"Judallet Flip-Fire!" She sprinted towards them, flipping gracefully to doge one of Raimundo's sweep kicks and landing behind him. The Dragon of Wind froze, hearing her move closer.

He craned his head around, meeting angry sapphire eyes. " You woudn't dare..." He threatened with a death glare.

"Try me." A wicked smile crept onto Kimiko's face, she ran a finger up Raimundo's robes. _Smoke. Screaming. Laughing_. All because of...

**Fire.** In the back of Raimundo's mind, anger flurried. He new he had to get her back for setting him on fire. _Again_. He was determined.

He knew who was his enemy. And so did Jack with his.

Well, was it okay? Go on, take a bite. **Review.** And, I know that Clay was absent here but don't worry. He'll be here next chapter…_if I get reviews…_

_**Ciao.**_


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